Rhyme or Reason
A wing and a prayer
Dance little butterfly dance for me,
For I am the cats whiskers that you don’t see.
Spotted in the garden fluttering from bud to bud,
I’ll swipe you down with a flick of the paw if only I could.
I need a new playmate to amuse every inch of my whiskers,
My brothers have all gone and so have my sisters.
I crouch in this jungle among its colourful array,
Patiently waiting for prayers to be answered when I might catch you and play.
In anticipation I pounce all too soon and off you fly on your way,
But summer has only just begun so there’s always another day.
(C. Wardle, Coalville)
How many cats?
Some time ago when I was young(!)
And Burmese we had none.
We saw a blue and fell in love,
Then we had .........ONE
We’ll ‘show’ we thought, so off we went,
A chocolate girl to view.
We passed the test and brought her home;
Then we had............TWO
“A kitten bred by us”, I said,
My husband did agree.
We kept the best......a little girl,
Then we had........THREE
Kittens came, and kittens went,
But one we couldn’t ignore.
We tried our friends..“not brown!” they said,
So then we had......FOUR
A lilac girl I wanted....pleeeeeeese!
To this end I did strive.
But not to be...the best was blue
Then we had.....FIVE
“Too many women” Gary said,
“This I'll have to fix”.
So Merlin came, our first stud boy,
Then we had....SIX
Enough we said, our house is full,
And then a call from heaven.
“A Rossikhan I'll let you love”,
Then we had .....SEVEN
With bigger house and pastures new,
For lilac now we’d wait.
But oh my goodness, see that brown,
Then we had .....EIGHT
We carried on, no more were kept,
Then Purdy we did mate.
Some stunning babes, they went for show,
So we still had EIGHT....( fooled you - phew, that was close!!)
Time went on - our home complete,
And everything was fine.
Then came the call “A lilac girl?”
“Yes, yes, yes, yes”,
Then we had.....NINE
My husband says I’ve not grown up,
Although I'm not sure why.
Perhaps because I love cartoons,
(The Lion King made me cry!!).
But I think it is the fairies,
I really, really do.
The ones who wave a magic wand,
And make a dream come true.
’Cause someone waved a wand for me,
And filled my life with joy.
She trusted me with Wolf Whistle,
My darling lilac boy.
So if you’re counting, you will see
How easy it is when............
You start with ONE.......and then ONE more,
Then ‘Bingo’ you have... enough!!...that’s it.. no more... finish... .no, no, no, no... ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!!!!!!!... look I have my eyes closed and my hands over my ears!!!!!!!!!!
........ to be continued.......?
(Z. Brittain-Murray, Sedgley)
IMAGINE - Cinderella is now 95 years old.
After a fulfilling life with the now dead prince, she happily sits upon her rocking chair, watching the world go by from her front porch, with a cat named Bob for companionship.
One sunny afternoon out of nowhere, appeared the Fairy Godmother.
Cinderella said, “Fairy Godmother, what are you doing here after all these years?”
The Fairy Godmother replied, “Cinderella, you have lived an exemplary
life since I last saw you. Is there anything for which your heart still
Cinderella was taken aback, overjoyed, and after some thoughtful consideration, she uttered her first wish:
“The prince was wonderful, but not much of an investor. I’m living hand to mouth on my disability cheques, and I wish I were wealthy beyond comprehension."
Instantly her rocking chair turned into solid gold.
Cinderella said, “Ooh, thank you, Fairy Godmother”
The Fairy Godmother replied, “It is the least that I can do. What do you want for your second wish?”
Cinderella looked down at her frail body, and said, “I wish I were youngand full of the beauty and youth I once had.”
At once, her wish became reality, and her beautiful young visage returned.
Cinderella felt stirrings inside of her that had been dormant for years.
And then the Fairy Godmother spoke once more: “You have one more wish; what shall it be?”
Cinderella looks over to the frightened cat in the corner and says, “I wish for you to transform Bob, my old cat, into a kind and handsome young man.”
Magically, Bob suddenly underwent so fundamental a change in his biological make-up that, when he stood before her, he was a man so beautiful the likes of him neither she nor the world had ever seen.
The Fairy Godmother said, “Congratulations, Cinderella, enjoy your new life.”
With a blazing shock of bright blue electricity, the Fairy Godmother was gone as suddenly as she appeared.
For a few eerie moments, Bob and Cinderella looked into each other's eyes.
Cinderella sat, breathless, gazing at the most beautiful, stunningly perfect man she had ever seen.
Then Bob walked over to Cinderella, who sat transfixed in her rocking chair.
He held her close in his young muscular arms. He leaned in close, blowing her golden hair with his warm breath as he whispered...
“Bet YOU’RE sorry now that you had me neutered!!”
(S. Pennington, Ormskirk)