Rhyme or Reason
Five tiny toes belong to each of my four paws,
Each tiny toe is owner to my very helpful claws,
I have a tail to that keeps my siblings amused,
Though actually what it’s for, now that’s where I’m confused,
My ears are to hear my name for when I’m called to eat,
My cute button nose, so I can smell my tasty treat,
My bum is for the game we play,
How fast I can fill my litter tray,
My fur I have grown especially for you,
So you can do those things that you do,
Like stroke my ears and tickle my belly,
Your hand on my chin as we watch the telly,
I have a hard life alas this is true,
How selfless am I,
Coz it’s out of love for you.
(K Gilliver, Bolton)
I was just a big fluffy kitten, a randy teenage tom,
But now I’m just a neutered thing, because both of my ****s are gone.
So I hang out here on the hearth rug, slowly going crackers
All because some self-righteous vet, went and nicked my *****ers.
(M Ellis, Great Lever)
Special delivery at Royal Mail - three first class kittens!
Three tiny kittens were saved after being delivered by their stray mother – in the middle of a bustling Royal Mail Centre.
The tiny trio of tabbies – William, Whiskers and Whisper – were spotted by eagle-eyed postmen nestled among parcels and letters at the busy unit in Bradford city centre, which handles up to two million items of post every day.
Concerned staff called in volunteers from the Cats Protection, the UK’s leading feline welfare charity, who rushed the two-week-old kittens to the warmth and safety of a volunteer’s home.
Because the kittens’ mother was an untamed feral, she hid from Cats Protection volunteers but was caught the following day with the use of a humane trap. She was then reunited with the kittens to rear them in a more suitable environment.
Seven weeks after they were found, the kittens have just been rehomed. Their mother, now named Win, who at the estimated age of ten is impossible to tame, has been given a new home on a farm where she can continue her outdoor way of life with the comfort of being regularly fed.
Graham Hoult, Co-ordinator of Cats Protection’s Wharfe Valley Branch, said:
“We were pretty stunned when we got the call and found these three tiny kittens amongst stacks of post and parcels. It was a very busy office with forklift trucks and heavy machinery all around.
“It was a very dangerous place for these kittens but thanks to the vigilance of staff we were able to get to them.
“Their mother Win has obviously had a pretty tough life – as an unneutered stray she has probably had dozens of litters and each time must have struggled to rear them. It’s heartbreaking to think this is the only safe place she had to raise her young.
“Despite what she’s been through, she was a terrific mother and now she has been neutered she will be able to enjoy her retirement in the great outdoors whilst her kittens have all gone to domestic homes.”
Mark Smith, Early Shift Manager at the Mail Centre, discovered the kittens after colleagues noticed the mother in the security compound. “We thought she may have come under cover to give birth,” he said, “so I clambered over some mail cages to take a look and found the three kittens.
“I have a cat of my own at home and my colleagues and I couldn’t bear leaving them in the Mail Centre overnight, so we contacted the local Cats Protection Branch for help. We’ve been phoning the charity regularly for updates, and it’s great news that the mother and kittens have been found homes.”