Casey wishes “Happy Christmas” to all his feline cousins and sends these greetings to their human companions
May your stuffing be tasty, may your turkey be plump,
May your potatoes and gravy have ne‘er a lump,
May your pudding be delicious, may your mince pies win a prize,
And, please God, may your Christmas dinner stay off your thighs!!
(J. Frost, Sutton Coldfield)
***Star Turn***
At The End Of The Year
Stripes, streaks, spots, dots.
Single colour, mackerel patterns.
Tortoiseshell, white, chocolate, lilac, silver.
Fur bundles, purebred, mixed stray.
From the shelter, from the pound, from the cattery.
Time for celebrations.
Freefalling confetti.
Chocolates and gingerbread.
Jingle bells and snowflakes.
Rudolf - the red nosed reindeer.
Santa Claus and magic wands.
Stockings and Christmas greetings.
Merry Christmas and Good Cheer!
Gift wrapped new pet gifts.
Bright-eyed and tender,
Are not to be forgotten,
or given away,
when the New year celebrations end!
(L. Iyer)
YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN THE 2000’s WHEN...
1. You accidentally enter your pin number on the microwave.
2. You haven’t played solitaire with real cards in years.
3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of four.
4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.
5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends? They don’t have an e-mail address.
6. You go home after a long day at work and still answer the phone in a business manner.
7. You make phone calls from home and accidentally dial “9” to get an outside line.
8. You’ve sat at the same desk for four years and worked for three different companies.
10. You learn about your redundancy on the 11 o’clock news.
11. Your boss doesn’t have the ability to do your job.
12. You pull up in your own driveway and use your mobile phone to see if anyone is home to
help you carry in the shopping.
13. Every commercial on television has a website at the bottom of the screen.
14. Leaving the house without your mobile phone, which you didn’t have for the first 20 or 30 years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.
15. You get up in the morning and go on-line before getting your coffee.
16. You start tilting your head sideways to smile.
17. You’re reading this and nodding and laughing.
18. You are too busy to notice there was no number 9 on this list.
19. You actually looked back up to check that there wasn’t a number 9 on this list.
AND NOW YOU ARE LAUGHING AT YOURSELF.
(L. Dixon, Preston)
