Welcome to Lynda Ward’s ‘Rhyme or Reason’, a regular column devoted to feline related sayings, poems, rhymes, limericks and ditties (these can be by you, or even by your cat or another animal). You’ll receive a free 2kg bag of James Wellbeloved premium cat food if your item is published (5kg if it’s chosen as the ‘Star Turn’) and it can relate to any aspect of cats and cat ownership.

So don’t delay, start racking your brains for those serious, funny or wise words!

Contributions should be e-mailed to Lynda at lyndaward@pettradesolutions.com faxed to 01773 540703 or posted to Lynda Ward, c/o Our Cats, with your full postal address.

 

Sound familiar?
Up at dawn, cat and I, stars still twinkling in the sky,
Cleared the car of all the frost, hoped that we would not get lost.
Started off at a steady speed, all the limits we did heed,
Stopped to drink a cup of tea, cat decided to have a pee,
That caused chaos, and lost time, hoped that we’d arrive by nine,
Joined the queue to see the vet, cat fidgeting, starting to fret.
Did not know what was wrong, when from the carrier came this pong.
Wondered what on earth to do, with carrier, cat and a lump of poo!
Just pretended all was well, what vet said I cannot tell.
Entered hall to find the pen, we were the famous number ten.
Cat OK and settled down, fellow exhibitor wore a frown.
Looked at cat, then at me, said, “I hope you got that one for free”.
Trust that cat had not heard, comments that were quite absurd.
Love cat still, always will.

Left the hall for a welcome break, looked at catalogue, saw a mistake.
Cat had not changed its sex, and certainly wasn’t a Devon Rex.
Know my writing is not too good, see show manager I really should,
But I thought what the hell, let’s see if the judges can really tell,
Boys from girls, curls or not, or have the standard they forgot.
Cat asleep when I went back, wondered if judge would get the sack,
For on the pen, for all to see, the colour red, that did please me!
Suppose cat now is A.O.V., and guess who’s having cream for tea?
Journey home uneventful, cat not at all resentful, of all the
Traumas in his day, when he’d rather stayed at home to play!

M. Sneesby, Norwich

 

The New Kid on the Block

I’ve told about the dreadful three,
Teddy, Rori and our little Hoshi.
This year they’ve got a brand new lilac friend
Called Dewi-Sant who is a real live fiend.

He loves to copy all their naughty deeds,
Then find some more to really suit his needs.
To say he’s vocal when he runs about,
Could ‘meow’ for England, sure, without a doubt.

They say we always spoil the youngest child
The same with kittens, who can soon grow wild.
When he’s in trouble they will all combine
To comfort him and are his firm support.
He’s always first at the feeding bowl
And they hold back until he’s had his fill.
But he’s such a loving little lad
That we forgive him when he’s being bad.

The trouble is, though he is far from slow
He finds it hard to understand our ‘No’
You must mean someone else, he is so sure,
And then he carries on just as before.

To call him a ‘saint’ it really is so wrong
More to the Devil does this lad belong.
But if he went he would be sorely missed
For his loving ways and many naughty tricks.

D. Hall, Chester

 

Mornings Are For Waking Our Master

Sleeping beaut, he has no truck
With drivers of the night.
We’d wake him briefly to espy
An evanescent flight of
“Fancy that it must be breakfast time”.
A furry whirr, a change from purr
To stance of ‘long time since fed’.
Once more we dive from wardrobe high
And gain the bed close by his head.
Alas, too soon the dawn has rent
The sky asunder (he dreams).
A lass and sister too we wait
And cool it or we blunder;
(If overdone, his face will thunder)
We curl again and purr the veil of sleep
From our master’s eyes this way.
But, do we hear him say “Betide,
You two might but live just one more day?”

Mr & Mrs R. Callum, Hersham