Welcome to Lynda Ward’s ‘Rhyme or Reason’, a regular column devoted to feline related sayings, poems, rhymes, limericks and ditties (these can be by you, or even by your cat or another animal). You’ll receive a free 2kg bag of James Wellbeloved premium cat food if your item is published (5kg if it’s chosen as the ‘Star Turn’) and it can relate to any aspect of cats and cat ownership. So don’t delay, start racking your brains for those serious, funny or wise words!
Contributions should be e-mailed to Lynda at lyndaward@pettradesolutions.com faxed to 01773 540703 or posted to Lynda Ward, c/o Our Cats, with your full postal address.
**************************** Star-Turn *****************************
Aitch
(a rhyme to explain how she got her name)
“I’m giving up.” The lady said, “I’ve other things to do, it looks as if I’m going to fresh fields and pastures new.”
“To part with your cats,” I said, “must be hard for you”
“I’ve placed them very well,“ she said, “that is, except these two,
I kept them on for my own use, because you never know just how things will turn out, but that was a while ago.
If you took them both, t’would be their nicest way to go
I know you’ve bred some lovely whites, I‘ve seen them at our show.”
We talked it over, as you do, but only once or twice,
We said “well we could do with them, and the pedigree is nice.”
So off to Yorks we went and soon agreed upon the price.
Two little girls with sparkling coats as white as morning snow
With eyes as bright as noon day sun, just three/four months or so.
After tea and biscuits we exchanged our grateful thanks
We popped them in our basked and took them home to Lancs.
Now strangers to established cats, to save from noise and ruction,
Is carried out as we all know, by careful introduction,
You give them time and by and by there’s mutual acceptance,
So this we did and all seemed well as soon we’d gone the distance
Except the subject of this tale, just to confound us both
Swore at every other cat with every sign of wrath.
“I wonder what she means by that” my wife said in alarm,
I said “I think it’s GBH, that’s Grievous Bodily Harm”.
The other cats, of course full grown, I feel that I should mention
Just looked upon her with disdain and paid her no attention
But then our very oldest queen, while we looked on in dread,
Stretched out a paw and gentle placed it on Aitch’s head,
As if to say “you’re OK kid, spirit I like to see,
I think you’ll fit in here alright, oh aye, you’ll do for me.”
A. Hepburn (Cardenden)
From The Anonymous Kitten
I am told that this posture
is called “looking stately”
we’ve been practising it
three times a day, just lately.
But I think I am missing
the basic premise...
unless, of course “stately”
means getting crossed eyes?
Anon (Sussex)
Our Princess “Kira”
Eyes of green
Coat like glass.
Her body’s lean
A girl with class.
Walks around
Nose in the air.
Not a sound
Don’t know she’s there.
Move out the way,
She needs to run
It’s time to play
And have some fun.
The milk’s been spilt
Pot plants a mess.
No sign of guilt
That’s our princess.
J. Haden (Oldbury)
